Vanilla Extract. The list started off benignly enough, looking much like any other grocery list ever made. I'd run out of vanilla flavoring while making cookies recently and wanted to remember to pick some up the next time I was at the store. More often than not I find myself standing blankly in an aisle, unsuccessfully prodding my memory only to eventually return home and only then remember what I had gone to the store for in the first place.
Eggs were next on the list, followed by cheese. The next time I walked by I noticed someone had added cubes next to the word cheese, drawn identifying pictures next to each item and had put Grocery Sheet at the top of the page. Great, I thought, it's a family affair. That'll make it easier on me, I won't have to guess at what they want. That is until I walked by the next time and noticed marshmallows was the next thing on the list, followed by Apple Jacks and Froot Loops. Oh, so this is how they want to play?
I can play in a fantasy world too. So I wrote 'a unicorn,' followed by 'turkey baster,' - because I really do need one of those. I didn't mention my latest additions out loud, wanting to see if the game would continue. This grocery list was turning out to be so much more fun than any of my previous ones. 'A puppy' was the next item I found on the list. Here the mischief maker must have hesitated, knowing the impossible nature of the request, because 'or a fish' was also included.
The next suggestion made me pause. 'Time,' it said. "OK, that's it," I thought, "which kid is getting all meta on me?" Here we are just playing a silly game and then someone has to start being the philosopher. How old are you people? But I have to admit it would be nice to be able to just pick some up at the store. I bet you'd find it in 'the universe' aisle, wedged between 'space' and 'relativity.'
Next, 'a maid' was added to the list. That was my suggestion. I bet the kids thought it was as funny as I found marshmallows to be. "A maid?" they probably thought, "Oh Mom, we already have one of those." The game ended shortly after someone wrote 'another kid (a girl).' I enjoy a good fantasy as much as the next person, but my fantasies don't involve giving birth to another ten pound baby. How do I know it would be ten pounds? Precedence has been set. Three times.
I'll take my list to the grocery store tomorrow. I know exactly where the vanilla extract is located. But that unicorn might be hard to find.
P.S. The recent earthquake and tsunami in Japan have devastated a nation, killed thousands and displaced millions more. Could you take a second this week and add something to your list of things to spend your money on? Please go to www.redcross.org or charity of your choosing and donate what you can to help in the relief efforts. Or text REDCROSS to 90999 to make a $10 donation. Thank you.
