I don't buy fun food, except the occasional case of girls scout cookies of course. I have views on things like high fructose corn syrup and partially hydrogenated vegetable oils. Yep. I'm that mom. And while most of those foods are always on sale, even with the added benefit of readily available coupons, I can't bring myself to buy them. If by chance I do inadvertently bring something home, my children have fun food radars that zero in on the exact grocery bag and they'll begin an immediate devouring - like crows on carrion (excuse the mental image, I liked the alliteration). Those poor, poor, children, so deprived of empty calories. Please see the following archived posts: Easy Sell, Valentine Phantom, I love China Food, Snow Day, Half a Birthday etc., and don't feel sorry for them.
I'm not a totally horrible mother. I brought home 4 boxes of Eggo Waffles this week, not a store brand and they weren't even on sale. Audrey was with me at the grocery store. I put them in the cart and she cautiously asked what I was doing, as if I had momentarily lost my mind. Then she asked if she could have some when we got home. Then she looked lovingly at them through the rest of the store. Then she wanted to be the one who put them on the checkout belt. Then she wanted to put them in the car. Then she wanted to carry them into the house. Then she wanted to be the one who buried them deep in the freezer to hide from her brothers. Why can't it be this way with apples? Now there's only one box left. 30 waffles divided by three kids in three days. Maybe that's normal, like I said I don't buy fun food. I do have a pantry full of dried fruit, Cheerios, and peaches that I CANNED MYSELF, that unless I eat will forever remain in the pantry.
Most moms know that the first words out of a child's mouth after arriving home from school are usually "Can I have a snack?" My usual response: "Sure absolutely, there are fruits and vegetables in the refrigerator." Their usual response: "Isn't there anything else?" Nate can be incredibly passive aggressive on the subject. "I sure wish," he'll begin longingly, out loud, and to no one in particular, "I sure wish, I had a box of double stuffed Oreos in my lunch." Implying the rest of his class doesn't have to suffer through a 'healthy' chocolate chip granola bar for a lunch dessert. I'll spare you the emotional trip it always takes me on as I infer he means other moms are nicer.
Our current dilemma is whether to continue buying breakfast cereal. We go through phases. Sometimes I buy it, sometimes I don't. Kellogg's cereal has the dreaded HFCS and I refuse to consider Fruity Pebbles and the like as legitimate breakfast options. But the average box of Honey Bunches of Oats lasts 1.2 days in this house. 12 servings a box ,we've learned, really means "you better not be the last one to come down for breakfast in the morning." Sorry Jon, that means you. Oatmeal is the go to cereal when all other options are gone, but I feel like the sugar police when I tell Eli "No, you can't 'sprinkle' half of a cup of brown sugar on that." You want a overly sugared up oatmeal? Well kiddo, I hear McDonald's recently added it to their breakfast menu and you just got your allowance.
